Last night was really hard.
I wanted chocolate. Or something else sweet, like cookies. Or something fried. But mostly chocolate. I had nothing like that, because I didn’t buy any.
Because my jaw had started to hurt worse again during the latter part of yesterday, and I had some moderate Fibromyalgia hurt going on for more than half the day, I decided that I’d been a fool to think I could (or even should) do this IF diet. It obviously wasn’t working, if after five days I still felt like crap. And besides,
it’s
just
plain
too
hard.
See, the thing is, I could buy a package of cookies or a bag of chocolate chips for craving times, and just eat one serving, allowing for the negative IF points by eating enough high-point-rated foods in the same day, except that I don’t seem to be capable of eating just one serving of those things. (And, also, because I don’t know the IF ratings on the gluten free cookies. According to the book, gluten free bread is almost twice as inflammatory as plain white bread [but only half as inflammatory as French bread or sourdough bread]. So I would imagine that gluten free cookies might [maybe?] be more inflammatory than regular ones.)
So, since I can’t seem to manage to stop at one serving, I decided it would be better not to even buy that kind of stuff, because then I’ll just start rationalizing and convincing myself that the tuna I had for lunch can make up for all the hundreds of negative points my binging would rack up, and the logical part of my brain that knows the truth would be outvoted and drowned out by the illogic that I “need” to believe. (Just like I’d had myself convinced that taking fish oil could make up for the way I was eating recently, which, when I do the math, looks to have been averaging close to -1000 points or worse every day.)
Well, the final outcome of my pitfall last night is that I still don’t know if I can do this, but for now, I’m still trying. And my jaw is not as bad again today, and the FM pain has subsided again, for now. I didn’t eat anything bad because I didn’t have anything bad to eat. On the pat-myself-on-the-back-side, however, I didn’t get up and put my shoes on and go out for ice cream. I could have done that, easily, but I didn’t. And that’s something.
4 responses so far ↓
kerro // June 30, 2009 at 5:12 pm |
(((Tramp))) I’ve been reading and I think you’re doing an amazing job. This is really hard, but you’re doing so well. Well done you!
I went on an anti-inflammatory/anti-allergy diet a few years ago. A tip I learned then was that maple syrup (the proper stuff, not the faux kind) and poached pears satisfied everyone – the need for sweet AND anti-inflammatory. I don’t know if this is in your book, but may be it’s worth a try.
I know this diet regime thing is really hard – it nearly killed me, but was worth it in the end. Now, if only I could get back to it……
strangename // June 30, 2009 at 6:13 pm |
Ahhh Tamp, many positive thoughts going your way! Hang in and bop on chat to help pass the urge. I felt your struggle last night, and want you to know I’m there anytime you need…k!
You really are doing well, and its ok to crave stuff, you just have to come up with some suitable substitutes. Another thing I did when cheating was just buy single cookie packs at the local mart…that way I didn’t plow through half the bag, as I was inclined to do!
(((Tamp)))
kate1975 // July 1, 2009 at 11:52 pm |
Hi,
I can relate. I too can’t stop at one serving, especially when I am trying to limit myself, it seems to set myself up for wicked cravings.
Good for you for doing the hard diet stuff. I know how hard that is.
Good and healing thoughts to you.
Kate
Rambling Thoughts About Climbing Back On The IF Wagon « life is change // September 26, 2009 at 4:17 pm |
[...] by thinking the anti-inflammatory foods I was still eating would make up for it. I knew about that tendency in myself, to justify, yet the Inner Enabler (I don’t know if that’s an actual psychological term [...]