The Importance of Not Letting Your Mind Wander

* Juvenile snicker *

The Nastiness of Food Addiction

Well, this is about the nastiness of my food addiction.  I can’t speak for anyone else’s.

So, I was talking to my therapist yesterday about cravings.  Not the physical kind of cravings that tend to fade somewhat when one begins to avoid excess sugars, but the emotional cravings that have driven my compulsive overeating for my whole adult life and a good part of my pre-adult life.

Therapist asked me what my cravings are like.  I said they are like a child who is constantly pulling at your sleeve or tapping you on the shoulder, saying, “Hey.  Hey.  Hey.  Look at me.  Pay attention to me.  Hey.  Hey.”

We talked about the fact that occasionally I crave very specific things, but that I usually I don’t really know what I’m craving, and that I have, on more occasions than I can count, just gone into the kitchen and eaten whatever I could find, and then something else, and something else, trying to find the thing that will finally satisfy me and make the child quiet.  We talked about how I’m actually aware that whatever it is I need or crave is not really food at all, but that if I eat enough, I’ll feel miserable and I’ll stop and the cravings will subside for awhile.

And, of course, the point would be to figure out what it is I really need or crave, but that’s much easier said . . .

And frankly, I’m tired.  I’m too tired to keep looking for answers.  I really am.