I’ve been reacquanting myself with my favorite music lately. A good friend helped me get sound on my computer again (ahhh, sound! Thank you, Good Friend!) and I’ve been organizing my music files and treating myself to some new downloads of old favorites from Amazon. That prompted me to get out some favorite CD’s and listen to them again. The CD player in my car has been broken for months and I haven’t played my turn-it-up-loud-and-sing-at-the-top-of-my-lungs favorites in so long. I’ve been in withdrawal.
Well, last night, one of the CD’s I played on the computer while I was working on stuff was Keri Noble’s Fearless. It is very high on my list of my favorite CD’s ever made.
This is one of my favorite songs on that CD. I always kind of thought of it as an anthem to friendship, but listening to it last night, after not having heard it in a long time, it feels even more personal now, as an anthem to friendship between friends who have done or are doing therapy.
The verse that has always moved me the most is “No one can take you where you alone must go / There’s no telling what you will find there / And, God, I know the fear that eats away at your bones / It’s screaming every step, ‘Just stay here’”. To me, it’s about the fact that therapy (and what it takes to achieve real change) isn’t something anyone else can do for you, no matter how supportive they may be, and it’s about that fear of pushing through the hard changes and the fear-induced desire to just stay stuck (it seems easier, less threatening), or to go back to that place before therapy, where we used to be able to turn it off and not feel so much.
And the whole song is about someone who has been there and knows those feelings, being there for support for a friend / loved one.
I will be here, still.
It’s an amazing song.
