Possible Gluten Warning

I previously mentioned OreIda Easy Fries in an entry from July, and although I didn’t specifically say in that entry that they were gluten free, I’m concerned that anyone who must eat gluten free may have read that entry and trusted me that they were gluten free, since I mentioned really liking them.  I’ve been eating them off and on (when I’m not being careful to watch my IF ratings; white potatoes are inflammatory) for a while now.  Well, it turns out, they may not be gluten free, and I didn’t know that.  I don’t know what to think, really, now.

• According to the ingredients list (Potatoes, Vegetable Oils [Sunflower, Cottonseed, Soybean, Palm, Canola, and/Or Partially Hydrogenated Soybean Oil], Salt, Dextrose, Disodium Dihydrogen Pyrophosphate, Annatto [Vegetable Color]), there doesn’t seem to be anything in them that would raise any red flags for me.  It even contains a soybean warning, but no other allergen warnings.
• They show up in WalMart’s list of gluten free items.
• I can’t time my own consumption of them with the glutenings I’ve gone through.  The thing that further muddies my ability to figure it out is that I often buy and eat these fries when I’m going through a time of craving comfort food, and one of the things that happens when I’ve been glutened is that I crave comfort food because I feel so awful.  If they do contain gluten, I may not know, if I’m mostly eating them after I’ve already been glutened.  But I do recall eating them when I hadn’t been glutened, and I don’t remember ever making any sort of connection between them and any gluten reaction.

However, when trying to figure out a recent mystery glutening (twice over a period of weeks), I went back over everything I could remember having eaten, and when I checked the list of gluten free items on the OreIda web site, these fries weren’t on the list.  I called, and the girl I spoke with said they weren’t on her list either.

I’m going to contact OreIda and ask them to look at the ingredients and manufacturing process and either add them to the gluten free list if they are in fact gluten free, or put something on the label that explains why they aren’t, such as that maybe they are made in a shared facility that also produces products containing wheat, or something, if that is the case.  It could possibly be that they are produced in a facility that produces products containing barley, rather than wheat, and since US companies are not (yet?) legally bound to disclose barley on their labels, that could explain why it would not be on the gluten free list and also not have anything on the label that would cause concern to a gluten intolerant person.

It’s just very odd, though, because I am so hyper-sensitive to gluten, even in items that are simply made in shared facilities, even if they don’t contain gluten in their ingredients, and I can’t say I’ve ever reacted to the fries.

I will update when I know more, but I wanted to be sure and clarify this, just in case.

–

Rambling Thoughts About Climbing Back On The IF Wagon

I’m working back toward the anti-inflammation diet again.  I’d gotten away from it, after the two or three weeks or so in June and July that I did really well (I don’t actually remember when I let it go by the wayside; I just stopped writing about it at some point, just as I did in January when I was trying to lose weight).  Money was an issue the week I gave up, and I couldn’t afford the right foods to continue properly.  By that time, though, I’d already begun the process of letting go of it gradually, first eating some of the inflammatory foods I’d been craving, justifying it to myself by thinking the anti-inflammatory foods I was still eating would make up for it.  I knew about that tendency in myself, to justify, yet the Inner Enabler (I don’t know if that’s an actual psychological term or not, but it seems to fit) can effectively wipe that knowledge from accessible memory and make it seem like it makes sense in the moment.

“I’ll just have one.”

“I’ll just have a few.”

“Well, half the package is already gone.  I’ll just finish it so I won’t have any more left to tempt me and I’ll start again tomorrow.”

“It could be worse.  I could have eaten (fill in the blank with something worse).”

My sister and I once developed an entire diet plan called the It Could Be Worse Diet.  It works like this: Whatever you want to eat, just think of something worse that you could be eating but aren’t.  (“I want a big bowl of ice cream, but I won’t eat the whole container!”, “I want a second donut, but it could be worse; I could eat the whole dozen.”  ”This burger and fries has to be better than eating an entire pizza.”)  Bingo.  Your Inner Enabler is happy, you get your comfort food, and all feels right with the world.  Granted, you won’t lose much weight,  but it kept us amused for a while.

My food addiction is making it so difficult to eat the way I know I need to.  The other day, while walking through the grocery store and picking out healthy items, I fought tears, facing that I would be giving up my comfort foods again.  It felt something like walking a tight rope without a net, a comparison I have made to the fighting of fears in a few areas of my life.

In the last month or two, I’ve been feeling the effects of the inflammation growing steadily worse again.  The knees, the hip, the back pain (especially after sleeping for any length of time over about five hours).  Then, last week, my left shoulder started to hurt again and got worse every day, and finally my jaw started hurting again by about Thursday.  I was afraid the stabbing headache pains would be next, so that was why I went to the store and bought a supply of some of the easier anti-inflammatory foods to incorporate back into my diet: tuna, sardines, sweet potatoes, cantaloupe, salad greens, avocado, V-8 juice, baby carrots.  I still had frozen strawberries, which, along with cantaloupe, I hadn’t actually stopped eating regularly since doing this in June and July.  I still have some frozen Brussels sprouts and some frozen spinach.  I’ll pick up almonds the next time I go to the store, and olive oil for cooking.  Maybe a jar of olives.  According to the book I have, one jumbo green olive is worth 8 IF (Inflammation Factor) points.  Two tablespoons of chopped raw onion is worth 52.  A quarter cup chopped red bell pepper is 45.  So, adding those things (and counting out maybe five jumbo olives) to a salad would add 137 points to a salad eaten with dinner, and will add a whole lot of flavor, as well.  If I include raw kale in the salad, that can really boost the IF ratings even more.  (A quarter cup is worth 128 points, according to nutritiondata.com [the book doesn't list raw kale, only cooked].)

I’ve been in the habit of looking up foods either on the Nutrition Data web site or in the book when certain ones are listed in one place but not the other.  Sometimes I look things up in both places, and sometimes I can’t find specific listings anywhere.  There are a few things I am finding extremely difficult and frustrating.  One is when the web site and the book contradict one another.  Another is when I can’t find something anywhere.  And yet another is not knowing how to figure out packaged foods or gluten-free foods that aren’t on either list or show the IF Rating as N/A on the web site.  So I do the best I can and hope I’m right, and that if I’m wrong, I’ve done well enough with the rest of my day to make up for it.  I’ll just continue to hope that the concept of IF Ratings catches on and becomes something that more people will want to pay attention to, and that that may mean more access to information about more foods in the future.

I think the most astounding thing I noticed last time I did this was that I was suddenly able to sleep through an entire night without waking up with back pain.  For years, I felt I had a choice: either get enough sleep to function on all cylinders or be able to stand upright and walk in the morning.  I’d had no idea that it was any longer an option, at my weight and age and without buying a new bed, to have both.  But eating anti-inflammatorily (I still like that phrase, even if I did make it up) made it possible.  And, of course, it went back to the way it was before, when I stopped.  Because a decent night’s sleep is imperative for so many things, including ADD, fibromyalgia, and depression, and because allowing those things to be any more out of control than they already are (especially the ADD) could very well cost me my job, I’ve come to the conclusion that avoiding inflammatory foods is something I’m going to have to do.  (I’ve decided to talk with my GP about trying ADD medication when I see him in October, but even if I  find a medication I like and it helps a lot, proper sleep is still vital.)

I read an article yesterday that said:

The fatty tissues of the body secrete hormones that regulate the immune system and inflammation, but in the case of an overweight individual this can become out of control. Three of the hormones that play a role in metabolism are leptin, resistin and adiponectin.

• Leptin is involved in appetite control.
• Resistin is a hormone that increases insulin resistance.
• Adiponectin lowers the blood sugar by making your body more insulin sensitive.

The fact that it is the fatty tissue that produces these hormones makes the fat self regulating, as the hormones should act to bring the increased fat under control. Bodies with more fat will produce more leptin bringing the appetite under control. However in cases where the body is inflamed there is often a problem with leptin resistance, and the self regulation of fat does not occur. Leptin resistance is where to body stops responding to the appetite controlling effects of the hormone.

In addition to these metabolism regulating hormones your fatty tissue also produces chemicals that cause inflammation and this can make the problem of leptin resistance worse. This is why obesity can cause an increase of these inflammatory chemicals which in turn inhibit the correct balancing function of the weight controlling hormones. This results in a vicious circle of weight gain causing inflammation which inhibits hormone function thereby causing further weight gain.

And this drives home the point that I not only need to avoid inflammatory foods; I need to lose weight as well.  I suppose that saying “I’m not doing this to lose weight, but to feel better, and the fact that I’ll end up losing weight anyway is just a bonus” is becoming less effective at distracting my fears.  Fooling myself into thinking I can skirt around the Inner Enabler unnoticed isn’t going to work anymore, either.

I suppose it’s wake-up time.

–

Bliss List – Items 1, 2, and 3

I got this idea from Kate1975’s Blog, and I think it’s a great self-care idea, albeit not always easy.  I decided to create my own Bliss List that I can refer back to when I need to feel that rush of “happy” brain chemicals that comes from thinking of those things that bring bliss.

So, other than chocolate (which I am not denying causes bliss as I purposely leave it off my list anyway because a big part of my reason for creating this list right now is to use it as an alternative to using food for comfort) and my family and friends, with whom I always find comfort and healthy laughter, here are the first three items on my Bliss List, which is not in a specific order:

1.  My Emily

2.  That shade-family of blue that is a variation of turquoise, aqua, neon blue, and electric blue

3. Tulips

See other Bliss List entries

If It Acts Like A Child And Feels Like A Child . . .

The dreams came in like needy children, tugging at my sleeve
I said, “I have no way of feeding you, so leave”.

Prince of Darkness – Indigo Girls

Hmmm.  Well.

Ater I wrote and then re-read yesterday’s entry about food-addiction-related cravings, I was struck with how obvious it seemed.

All the pondering I’ve done about what it is that I need or want that I’ve been trying to satisfy with food came to a halt when I read my own words, describing the craving as feeling like a child desperate for attention and my overeating as a way to push that child into submission and silence.  I thought, Duh.  Could it be the child-part of me, needing my attention?

I talked with Sister when I saw her last night, and wondered aloud what sort of attention the child-part of me could need.  What could I do that would make that child-part feel appreciated, acknowledged, paid-attention-to?

“Have fun?” I asked, feeling like the kid who got the pop-quiz answer right, expecting Sister to tap her nose like they do in Charades.

Ok.  So.

It was actually synchronistic that I saw Sister last night.  She’d emailed in the morning to say her cell phone wasn’t working.  She and Mom and I are on one plan together.  On my lunch hour, I went to the local store near where I work, described the message she was getting, and asked what we needed to do.  She had a bad sim card, they said, and because there isn’t a store local to where she lives and works in another county, they gave me a new sim card for her.  We met after work at the Outback Restaurant that is about halfway between, and we had dinner.

I did really well on my IF Ratings during dinner.  I had a small steak, sweet potato, and seasonal veggies (broccoli, summer squash, carrots, and snap peas), and then we shared a brownie sundae (not so good on the IF ratings, but worth it), mainly because I just get so tickled at being able to have a brownie sundae in public (it’s gluten free!).

As I was thinking about how to go about having fun and amusing my inner child, I commented that said child was enjoying that sundae.  Then it occurred to me that it wouldn’t always be a good idea to have a sundae as a way of amusing my inner child if the purpose of amusing my inner child were to not use food to make her be quiet.

I told Sister about my therapist asking me what other ways I could comfort myself, other than using comfort food.  I had a hard time with that one, but I brought up that I often comfort myself by watching TV (the mindlessness of my viewing habits varying in direct relation to how stressed or depressed I am).  But, I realized, I often eat while I watch TV and I associate the two pretty strongly.

But I figured it out last night.

I’m going to buy a coloring book and crayons, and when I’m watching TV and the child starts to tug at my sleeve, we’re going to color.

*Smile*

The Weight Thing

Following Kerro’s description of food-issue-related topics (the Food Thing, the Weight Thing, and the Body Image Thing), I thought I’d  write an entry about the Weight Thing.  I’ll discuss the Body Image Thing at a future date, as that may be the most difficult to write or talk about.

My therapist and I talked about the Weight Thing a bit this week also, in addition to the Food Thing.  I explained that it was the physical pain I was in that pursuaded me to change my eating, not my weight.  My “need” for comfort food (and for the perceived safety in keeping my armor of weight around me) outweighs (no pun intended) my desire to lose weight, to feel small, or to wear smaller clothes.

It’s true, I told her, that I miss being more flexible and feeling more “fluid” in my movements, and I especially miss sitting the way she does, I pointed out.  I used to be able to change my sitting position often, from putting one (or both) leg(s) under me, to putting my feet up in the chair beside me, to crossing my legs.  I remember how that felt, and it was great.  Carrying the amount of weight I am carrying now really limits fluid movement.  It makes me feel rigid (not unlike trying to move around while wearing a suit of armor might feel, in fact).  Leaning forward to pick something up from the floor is a major undertaking, and is embarrassing, since my face often turns red.  If my shoe comes untied and I’m in the car, I have to park and get out of the car to tie it.  There is no leaning over and reaching the floor in the car.  When I feel myself about to sneeze, I have to stop what I’m doing and make sure my back is straight, because when I sneeze I can feel my back pop and sometimes it hurts.  (I used to work with a woman who was very overweight and she cracked a rib by sneezing while turned into a funny position.)

I would like to someday be comfortable in my own skin and in my clothes.  I find myself always tugging at my shirt or adjusting the waistband of my pants, which I’m aware probably draws more attention to my body and clothes than I would like, but I can’t seem to stop doing it because my clothes never feel “right”.

I miss sitting in a chair and not feeling the arms or sides of the chair up against the sides of my thighs.  To sit down and have space on either side of you . . . that is something I would imagine a lot of peoole take for granted and never give much thought to.  (And I can’t help but wonder how that relates to the feeling of space vs closed-in-ness that has to do with my clutter issues.  I’ll ponder that at some point, but not right now.)

But missing that ease-of-movement, comfort in my own skin, and space around me has never been a strong enough motivator to actually make me face the Food Thing.

It took pain.

I still haven’t formally begun thinking of this as a weight-loss diet, but the foods that have the best IF Ratings are lower in all those things one watches when trying to lose weight, so I know I have cut my calories, carbs, and fats dramatically.  And, feeling better does encourage one to move around more, which I suspect will lead to exercise.  But for now, it’s about controlling pain and feeling better.  And it has begun to be about showing my body that I appreciate it by giving it more of what it needs and less of what hurts it.  And, by doing this, I am being forced by default to face the Food Thing, because I’m having to learn other, less painful ways to comfort myself.

That’s hard in itself, so the Weight Thing will have to come later.

The Nastiness of Food Addiction

Well, this is about the nastiness of my food addiction.  I can’t speak for anyone else’s.

So, I was talking to my therapist yesterday about cravings.  Not the physical kind of cravings that tend to fade somewhat when one begins to avoid excess sugars, but the emotional cravings that have driven my compulsive overeating for my whole adult life and a good part of my pre-adult life.

Therapist asked me what my cravings are like.  I said they are like a child who is constantly pulling at your sleeve or tapping you on the shoulder, saying, “Hey.  Hey.  Hey.  Look at me.  Pay attention to me.  Hey.  Hey.”

We talked about the fact that occasionally I crave very specific things, but that I usually I don’t really know what I’m craving, and that I have, on more occasions than I can count, just gone into the kitchen and eaten whatever I could find, and then something else, and something else, trying to find the thing that will finally satisfy me and make the child quiet.  We talked about how I’m actually aware that whatever it is I need or crave is not really food at all, but that if I eat enough, I’ll feel miserable and I’ll stop and the cravings will subside for awhile.

And, of course, the point would be to figure out what it is I really need or crave, but that’s much easier said . . .

And frankly, I’m tired.  I’m too tired to keep looking for answers.  I really am.

Cheating Under Controlled Conditions

Well, I learned something important this weekend.  Ok, I learned a few important things, but this one is about the anti-inflammation diet.  My PMDD symptoms are evidently not connected to inflammation.  That isn’t to say that systemic inflammation doesn’t have an effect on hormones and possibly exacerbate conditions like PMDD; I honestly don’t know.  But, at least this early on in the process of being IF-Rating conscious, controlling or lessening inflammation does nothing to relieve my PMDD back pain.  That pain is caused by fluid retention, and I suspect involves pressure on nerves from the excess fluid.

When I woke up Friday and could barely move, I was initially frustrated and temporarily convinced that the IF diet wasn’t working.  But I reminded myself of the big changes I’d experienced in the week before that, and remembered that it was PMDD time.

Yaz pretty much takes care of most of the extreme symptoms, except for the back pain and some of the fluid retention (it’s actually much worse without Yaz) and some of the tendency toward depressive episodes.  I started on Yaz back in 2007 and that, combined with also having gone gluten free a few months earlier, changed my life from the desperation of “I can’t spend the rest of my life like this; I just can’t” to actually being able to work on improving the other areas of my life that needed attention and had been left untended for years.  I was on Yaz untill my health insurance changed April 1st and I discovered that the new company does not show it on their formulary and it costs between $65 and $70 each month to fill the prescription.  I was off of it for five weeks.  Five weeks of Oh-My-God-Now-I-Remember-How-Bad-It-Can-Be.  I was back to being unable to fathom surviving years of that ahead of me.  I filled the prescription again and have been back on it since, but it’s difficult financially.  There is no generic at this point and I’m guessing they must hold patents on the formula, since nobody else makes anything comparable.  They don’t offer any sort of assistance programs for that particular drug and I haven’t been able to find any way to make it more affordable, other than my doctor’s office setting aside one sample for me for when I see them this week.  I’m at Beyer’s mercy.

But, in the interest of abandoning that rant and returning to the topic I started with . . .

I recognized that particular type of back pain and the way it causes me to stand with my back all twisted and crooked, and I knew.  Knowing, though, didn’t stop me from feeling sorry for myself and wanting to just give up on the diet because “If I’m going to feel like shit anyway, then I should stop spending extra money I can’t afford just to eat healthy and have to forego the comfort and emotional satisfaction I get from bad food”.  But that little voice in the back of my head (the nice one; not the mean one) kept saying, “You know it’s working.  You know it is.  And this is different.”

I discovered in my 20’s, by accident really, that tea makes a good diuretic.  When I start with the crooked-back days, I drink iced tea.  Lots and lots of iced tea.  (My most recent favorite mixture for a pitcher of tea: one iced-tea bag [I use decaf], one Lemon Zinger bag, and one Lipton Red Tea bag, brewed in the coffee maker and cooled.)  It does wonders, though it takes at least a good full day (sometimes two) to take most of  the edge off of the back pain.  I’m going to start marking the calendar to start drinking the tea a day or so early, so possibly I can avoid days like Friday and Saturday.

So Friday and Saturday, as I drank tea and waited to feel better, I felt sorry for myself because I wanted comfort food in the worst way and didn’t have any.  Finally, Saturday evening, I made a decision.  I went to the store and bought cheese dogs, two packages of the Easy Fries I love so much, and a large chocolate bar with almonds.  The cheese dogs aren’t terribly bad in the negative IF ratings.  The fries are pretty bad.  So is the chocolate, but the almonds help a tiny bit.  I ate my bad food Saturday night and into Sunday, but both days I had other meals that were IF-positive.  Sunday I was even more careful than Saturday to make a good effort to keep my other meals positive.  And it worked.  I only noticed a slight change in my jaw inflammation, which is reversing already, I was able to find that comfort in my junk food at a time when it felt crucial to do that, and I only bought enough for that short duration and I’m back on the horse, so to speak.

I was able to maintain control over my eating.

I was able to decide what to do and do it, and then to go back to “(the new) normal” afterward.

I just hope I can keep this kind of control, always, with this.

Update 10/18/09:  If you are gluten intolerant, please also see this entry for clarification.

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Made It Through A Week

Well, I did it.  I made it through the first week of eating anti-inflammatorily.  (I made up a new phrase.)

I also figured out what to do about chocolate cravings.  One ounce of semi-sweet chocolate chips (about 60 chips) has a -80 IF rating, but I can either eat them with 1 ounce of mixed nuts, which has a +49 rating, so long as I eat 3 Brussels sprouts (12 points each) beforehand, or I can skip the nuts and have just the chocolate chips if I eat 7 Brussels sprouts first.  It’s a pre-pay system.  I won’t allow myself to say “I’ll make up for it later,” because I won’t.

I tried it last night, with the two ounces of nuts.  I didn’t eat the three Brussels sprouts first, though, because it was right after dinner and I’d had my “spinach scramble” for dinner (approximately 500 points – sauteed onion and mushrooms with spinach and parmasan cheese, cooked with enough egg substitute to make it hold together like scrambled eggs).  It went well, and the chocolate tasted so much more amazing than it did before.

The thing with the Brussels sprouts is that I really don’t like Brussels sprouts.  I never did, although I can force myself to eat them if I have a good enough motivation.  They’re an easily countable anti-inflammatory food, and so it works for me to weigh negative-rating foods against Brussels sprouts to decide whether they’re worth it or not.  For example, a 2 ounce Snickers bar would cost 14.17 Brussels sprouts.

My jaw is still a bit sore when I open my mouth very far, but it gets better by night time each day and doesn’t hurt at all anymore to bite down.  Knees are still hurting a little, but the pain isn’t distracting like it had become.  My back is only hurting right now because it’s PMDD time and even that is tolerable, considering.  All in all, still feeling very good results.

I also haven’t had the palpitations after eating that I’d been having.  Huh.  Go figure.  (Seriously, most of that seems to have been from eating too much at a time, and a good bit of it was from eating specific foods that I evidently shouldn’t eat.  My GP doctor agreed with the findings of the cardiologist when I saw him in May.  He said I don’t have MVP either.  So now I can be comfortable that the palpitations were food related.)

Now if only I hadn’t screwed up my sleep schedule again and stayed up in the middle of the night last night.  I’m sooo sleepy.  I’m off work tomorrow, though, so I can get it straightened out again.

The First Big Pitfall

Last night was really hard.

I wanted chocolate.  Or something else sweet, like cookies.  Or something fried.  But mostly chocolate.  I had nothing like that, because I didn’t buy any.

Because my jaw had started to hurt worse again during the latter part of yesterday, and I had some moderate Fibromyalgia hurt going on for more than half the day, I decided that I’d been a fool to think I could (or even should) do this IF diet.  It obviously wasn’t working, if after five days I still felt like crap.  And besides,

it’s

just

plain

too

hard.

See, the thing is, I could buy a package of cookies or a bag of chocolate chips for craving times, and just eat one serving, allowing for the negative IF points by eating enough high-point-rated foods in the same day, except that I don’t seem to be capable of eating just one serving of those things.  (And, also, because I don’t know the IF ratings on the gluten free cookies.  According to the book, gluten free bread is almost twice as inflammatory as plain white bread [but only half as inflammatory as French bread or sourdough bread].  So I would imagine that gluten free cookies might [maybe?] be more inflammatory than regular ones.)

So, since I can’t seem to manage to stop at one serving, I decided it would be better not to even buy that kind of stuff, because then I’ll just start rationalizing and convincing myself that the tuna I had for lunch can make up for all the hundreds of negative points my binging would rack up, and the logical part of my brain that knows the truth would be outvoted and drowned out by the illogic that I “need” to believe.  (Just like I’d had myself convinced that taking fish oil could make up for the way I was eating recently, which, when I do the math, looks to have been averaging close to -1000 points or worse every day.)

Well, the final outcome of my pitfall last night is that I still don’t know if I can do this, but for now, I’m still trying.  And my jaw is not as bad again today, and the FM pain has subsided again, for now.  I didn’t eat anything bad because I didn’t have anything bad to eat.  On the pat-myself-on-the-back-side, however, I didn’t get up and put my shoes on and go out for ice cream.  I could have done that, easily, but I didn’t.  And that’s something.

Inflammation Update

Today is the fifth day since I started avoiding inflammatory foods, and my jaw is almost completely back to normal.  If I had to rate the level of jaw-pain now on a 1-10 scale, it’d be about a 1.  Almost totally gone.  My knees are much better, probably down to about a 3-4.  Headaches are for the most part gone, with just an occasional twinge.  The most shocking thing, to me, has been the fact that both Friday night and Saturday night, I slept for 8 consecutive hours each night and was able to stand straight up and walk Saturday and Sunday mornings!  Amazing.  I’d been blaming the fact that my bed is old for a lot of my morning back pain.

What I don’t know how to explain, though, is that most of yesterday, my right elbow was aching like a toothache.  It was horrible, and the pain radiated down into my hand.  There was a pink patch on the skin just below the elbow and the skin was warm there.  I tried applying heat, taking Tylenol, ginger root, and the only thing that seemed to help was to hold my arm perfectly still.  As soon as I moved even my hand, it was hurting again.  Then, by last night, it was better.  So strange.

Maybe inflammation doesn’t go away without a fight?  Maybe it gets worse before it gets better?  Maybe the dietary changes caused a short-lived Fibromyalgia flareup?  I don’t know.

I made a pretty good raw veggie dip yesterday, though.  In the blender, I mixed canola oil, a little apple cider vinegar, salt, pepper, Italian seasoning, garlic powder, minced onion, low fat cottage cheese, salsa, and about 3/4 of an avocado.  It turned out pretty good.  I have no idea of the measurements, though, since I just kept adding some of this and some of that until it tasted right.

I am confused about a few discrepancies I’ve seen in the IF ratings of certain foods listed in the book vs the same food listed on NutritionData.com.  I’m going to try to contact the author and see if maybe there is some other information I’m missing.  One of those discrepancies is salsa.  The book says 1/4 cup is +52, but the web site says 1/2 cup is -15, which would be about a -7.5 for 1/4 cup.  Another is cottage cheese.  The book says 1/2 cup of 1% fat cottage cheese is +9, but the web site says -14.  The book says a large red tomato is +52, and the web site says +17.  The tomato is still positive either way, but some of the discrepancies are enough to be the difference between hitting a +50 for the day and falling into the negative for the day and not knowing it.  Of course, I’m going for way more than +50 a day, but I still want to know that I’m not defeating myself.

My two biggest fears are that (1) the next time I go through a depression, my lack of ability to care will be just strong enough that I’ll revert back to those highly inflammatory comfort foods, since I am, after all, a food addict, and (2) the next time I have more difficulty than usual with focus and organization, I won’t be prepared with the food I take to work and will be left with very few good choices, which opens the door for failure.  What I keep reminding myself, though, is that (1) Even in the worst depressions of the last two-plus years, I haven’t purposely ingested even a crumb of gluten, and if I can think of this the same way as that, I ought to be more successful, and (2) Maybe by keeping inflammation down, I can also lesson the severity of things that cause me to lose focus and become disorganized.

We’ll see.